Apology

Apology
Sunday, February 1, 2009

Lately, life has been an emotional rollercoaster. Life has given been a bunch of twists and turns, and I really have not known how to handle these things as they come. I just have not been prepared for what life has had to offer me recently. I have taken what has come to me, analyzed it and acted on that analysis with emotion. I was recently told that I am hypersensitive sometimes.

Well, because of recent issues, I was able to realize that I may have acted prematurely with others in my life, so I decided to look back through my life and see whether or not that was true. I could only find two people with whom I could have had a little more couth when I interacted with them. I probably could have treated them more like a person that I did, even though my reasons for being upset were valid. These two people were S. and Jenny.

To S.:
I value our friendship, even though I am concerned about some aspects of it. I see you as a great person, but I often get lost in your thinking. I have my concerns when dealing with you and my qualms about your actions and inactions, but I can chalk most of that up to the differences in our cultures—me, being raised in the South, and you, being raised in the North. You are still a great friend.

As I learn more about you, I am wondering who you really are because there are some things that you have said that make me feel like I do not know you. Half of me wants so much of you while the other half wants nothing to do with you. I do not know part I should listen to. I guess I have to see what happens....





To Jenny:
You and I have had our ups and downs in the past. You and I have had good times, bad times and horrible times. You and I meant a lot to each other. You still mean a lot to me. You were my first true love and were that person that I could turn to when no one else was there. You were my all and my everything. You will always be close to my heart.

In the past, I would only deal with you because I was trying to rekindle a relationship. I was upset and frustrated when that never came to fruition. There was a lot I did that did not help any situation. It took me years to get over you. Sometimes I wonder if I truly have and realize that I have. That is why I came to you tonight, expressing how enjoyable it would be to just be friends with you.

I will always consider you a friend. You were always there when I needed you, even when I knew that you did not want to have anything to do with me. I love you for that. You are special. You are someone great. I thank you for all you have done for me in our relationship and out. You are one to be commended for your selflessness, especially when dealing with me.....


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posted by Rosko @ 10:24 PM