Parents cannot be their child's friend

Friday, March 6, 2009

Children are running wild these days. They do what they want and show that they have no respect for anyone. I couldn't imagine doing some of the things these children do, and I'm not too far off from there. I think the issue is that there is no separation between parent and child. One minute, a parent wants to be the child's friend and then the next they want to be all parental. That can't work.

When's the last time your friend disciplined you? When's the last time your friend made sure you had 3 squares a day? When's the last time your friend washed your clothes? When's the last time your friend ran to the store to make sure you had medicine and they paid for it out of their pocket without expecting repayment? When's the last time your friend bought you a supply of underwear, socks and other clothing? When's the last time your friend paid your rent, utilities, entertainment expense, etc.? When's the last time your friend bought you toiletries, soap, personal items, etc.? Never, at least, not on a continuous basis. So, why do parents think that they can befriend their child, unless they are meaning to do nothing for them.

A parent may have the qualities of a friend, but they aren't friends. Parents have a responsibility to their child and must act accordingly. A parent must provide/do everything shown in the questions above and more. They have to teach their children life lessons. A friend isn't supposed to teach you how to respect people, they aren't here to teach you the birds and the bees, they aren't here to make sure you get your schoolwork done, they aren't here to make sure all of the essentials are done and they definitely aren't here to show you unconditional love. Parents are supposed to do that.

All parents need to step their game up. Yes, I said all parents, even the ones that are doing well. There is always something that can be done better.

Our children need role models and the best role model there is can only be the one that taught them the real deal about life. They should respect and honor you. They will get mad at you, but they will love you. You must create that separation and that separation must be so great that they can't touch it even if they tried. You have to show love in everything you do, even when you are upset at them.

Since there is no book on how to be a good parent, you have to do the best you can do. Parenting is hard, but it can be done. Too many parents want to be children. They want to go out to the club. They want to quit their job just because their boss said something. Parents have to be responsible and lead by example. Children are visual AND auditory learners, so we have to utilize both methods when teaching them. Most importantly, love your child and show them that you love them.

My daughter asked me one day if I could be your friend. I told her, "No. I am your parent and I must remain that. I love you and will always. Just because I'm your parent, it doesn't mean we can't have fun, but because I'm your parent, you have the best thing ever." My daughter and I have a good time. We do activities together. We joke and giggle. We do things friends do, but all in all, I am still her parent and she knows that.

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posted by Rosko @ 9:12 AM